Sympathy for a genius
by temarcia
Summary: Even a genius needs a break sometimes and when the Riddler is about to call it a day, an unexpected guest invites herself in without so much as knocking. Arkhamverse.


"Even a genius needs a break sometimes," Edward told the unassembled robot, his voice almost apologetic. The motionless mechanism didn't answer, of course, but Riddler felt like he was being excused.

He had intended to finish the new design this weekend, he really had, but it was almost 6 p.m. now and he hadn't slept since yesterday. He couldn't think clearly anymore, that much had become rather obvious when he had mistaken a flask of acetone for his bottle of water and almost drank it.

He needed some rest. The robot on his desk could wait 'till tomorrow, it was not like Batman would come crashing the party.

"Computer, sleep mode," he ordered and yawned.

"Going into a sleep mode," the electronic female voice confirmed. "Good night, The Riddler."

Edward smiled at that, then muttered his goodnight. The main light in the control room went off, leaving the place in a dim, green hue of LED-diodes.

He took off his grease-stained gloves, tossing them onto the workbench, next to the frame of the unfinished new robot. His safety goggles were... He didn't know where, but definitely not on his head anymore. He dragged himself to the room next door, the one he was using as a makeshift bedroom. Its resemblance to an actual bedroom ended with a mattress laying on the bare floor. Riddler didn't care – it was not his home, the hideout was his workplace and he only happened to stay there all the time for his own convenience.

On his way to the nest-like pile of blankets atop the mattress, he kicked his shoes off, sending them fly across the small room. Next was his question-marks shirt, already unbuttoned. He shoved it to the chair that pretended to be a bedside cabinet, the undershirt followed shortly. With his pants, dirty with dried paint, he didn't even bother – he just left them on the ground where they fell. It was dark in the room anyway, no one would see the mess. And when he was finally free from all his clothes aside from his socks and boxers...

"You could have put a little more flair to this show, you know."

He literally jumped up at the voice coming from the darkness behind him. Someone switched the light on. Edward gasped and caught one of the blankets from the bed, to awkwardly cover his far too exposed body with it.

This action made the intruder giggle. "Aw, Eddie. I promise not to stare...too much."

Despite her words, Catwoman didn't look away, not even for a moment, and he could swear, that damn gaze was burning his skin. He felt his cheeks going hot out of embarrassment.

"Catwoman!" He hissed with pure spite at the smiling cat-burglar, who looked like she had eaten a fat, tasty canary. Oh, how he hated to be looked down at like this, especially by those lesser than him. "How did you..." No, no – that wasn't the right question. "How dare you?!" Yes, better – how dare she come here uninvited. "How dare you intrude on me?! Your visit here is not only unwanted but also incredibly inappropriate and rude!"

"Calm down, sweetie." The woman dressed from top to toe in black leather cocked her head. "I'm not here to steal from you. And I'm most definitely not here to admire your 'good-looks' either."

Her nonchalant tone and triumphant smirk were enough to make Riddler furious.

"Then why are you here?! It's not only trespassing but also harassment!"

"Call the cops," she laughed. "I dare you."

"I don't need those GCPD dullards! I have my own brainless muscles hired to deal with stray cats like yourself!"

"Oh, I know you do. So? Aren't you gonna call your thugs for help? And tell them that a big, bad girl is mean to you again?" She made a funny voice, pursing her lips in sheer mockery. "And the world's-greatest-supervillain can't handle a single kitty?" There was a pause, which the pesky Cat used to grin some more.

"I-I..." Edward tried, too angry to come up with any logical argument.

Catwoman's stupid self-confidence was incredibly frustrating; and the worst thing – she was right, calling his thugs was out of the question.

"I thought so," she mused. "But don't worry Eddie, play nice and this cat is not going to hurt you. I'm not all that bad, you know." She examined the sharp, steel claws attached to her gloves as if suggesting the exact opposite.

"So what do you want?!" He spat out, sending her a nasty glare – which did nothing to intimidate her, of course, and yet it made him feel better. "Are you here for any other reasons than simply to annoy me?"

"Actually, yes. Believe me or not, but I don't enjoy your company any more than you enjoy mine. I have something to discuss with you," Catwoman finally seemed to get to the point. "It was easier to find you than to contact you over the Net. So here I am. Not my fault you provided the additional...entertainment."

He wrapped the blanket tighter around himself, hiding from her impertinent gaze. "You just want to talk? And you had to wait with it until I undress?"

"What can I say? Men tend to be more cooperative when vulnerable." She shrugged. And then, she took a sudden step toward him, making Edward instinctively step back. "See? It's working," she purred. Her eyes gleaming with cruel amusement.

While the Cat was having her fun, Riddler was boiling inside.

"I will do you the courtesy of listening to what you have to say, just turn around so I can at least dress up first."

"You mean, so you can reach for your silly cane and knock me out when I'm not looking? I don't think that's going to work." The Cat wagged her finger at him. "Sit down and listen." She pointed at his mattress.

He let out an irritated sigh and sat there, arms crossed so she knew how offended he was for being ordered around in his own lair.

Catwoman took a seat on the bedside chair, tossing his clothes off before placing her backside there and crossing her long legs.

"Now," she began, "there is a place I need to break in. And the security system has proven itself to be worth something, for once. I want you to assist me in this heist, Eddie." She pulled out a small memory stick from somewhere beneath her leather costume – to be precise – from somewhere between her breasts. "Take a look." She leaned down to hand him the device. "Not there!" Her angry voice woke him up from a dream-like state of staring blankly at her wide cleavage. "Take a look at the data! Not at my boobs!" She straightened up and gave him a warning glance.

He shook his head, getting the mental image out of his tired mind. "I don't have time for your silly robberies! Go ask someone else," he grumbled. "I have my own projects which, I assure you, are more important than cracking some security systems for children. Why would you even think, I want to help?"

"Because a lady asked you nicely?" Catwomen offered with a charming smile.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Kitty, but you were anything but nice so far."

"Fair enough." She waved her hand dismissively. "Then, because we are talking about the NASA and there will be both, a challenge, and good money from this. We share fifty-fifty."

Riddler couldn't help but yawn.

"NASA? Been there, done that. Besides, I have robots to build and Batman to kill. So no, thank you."

Catwoman stared down at him in a long, thoughtful moment, after that, she silently got up and walked toward the door.

"It's a shame, Eddie," she spoke again, now almost at the exit. "We could both gain something but... In that case, I guess I'd have to tell Batman where you are and what you are working on so he can come visit you too."

It took his sleep-deprived brain a few seconds to process that threat.

"You can't do this, you can't bring him here. I'm not ready yet!"

"Then better start preparing 'cause I'm so gonna do it. And while at it, I'll mention your tiny, little calves." She grinned.

The familiar sensation of hotness spread across his face, ears, and neck.

"My calves aren't tiny! They are perfectly normal! And I forbid you to talk to Batman about any parts of my body, other than my superior brain!"

"But talking about the location of your hideout is fine, hmm?" She pressed one claw to her lips, faking hesitation. "OK then! Bye, Eddie! I'll send you a postcard to Arkham."

"No!" He jumped up from his mattress and rushed to stop her from leaving, the blanket around his shoulders waving like a cape. "Wait! I won't let you..." His hand was about to grab her by a shoulder when she turned around, faster than a cheetah, and her claws ended up dangerously close to his bare chest.

"You were saying?"

He was so tempted to tell her what he thought of petty blackmailers like her but he could only swallow as her wretched claws made contact with his skin.

"I-I mean..." He tried his best to repress a shiver when her paw moved a bit closer to his throat. He was almost sure she would make a 'cat got your tongue' pun. Thankfully, she didn't. "I mean, I won't let you leave disappointed, my dear. I can think where to fit you into my busy schedule."

"I'm glad you changed your mind." With that, she took her paw of off him – only her index finger still lingered. "Take a look at the data and contact me on Wednesday. I have a feeling, we will make a very good team, you and I." She patted his cheek playfully and just like that – she was gone.

On her way out, she turned the light off, leaving him with only darkness and his thoughts. Riddler stood there, in the middle of his small, makeshift bedroom, biting his lip and trembling slightly – not out of cold or stress, no – out of purest rage.

"A team? Me and that flea-bitten cat? Ha!" He muttered to himself as he started pacing. "She'll be sorry to ever come here, treating me like that!"

He stopped abruptly and turned the light back on. Sleeping needed to wait – he had revenge to plan!


End file.
